End of the Week Thoughts

This post is going to be a little different. Instead of it having a specific stance on a theme, I’m going to summarize the discussions we had and mention things that were talked about in class that I liked.

So fair warning, this will be scatterbrained.

On Tuesday we talked about engagement and preparing for marriage. We started off talking about the proposal. Many people today will say that they are “basically engaged,” which means you’re just dating. You’re not engaged until a significant effort is put into the relationship to show that you with be married to each other. One of those this can be a ring. Another thing is the proposal. My professor discussed that the proposal should take effort, be thoughtful, and show that they going to commit to the other person.

Engagement is preparation for marriage. It is during the engagement when patterns will form that will last throughout the marriage. During the engagement the couple will have a wonderful opportunity to form patterns for their marriage, by planning a wedding together. When planning a wedding together the couple will learn how to make important decisions together, how to use resources, how to budget and more importantly, how to be married. But one thing that is really important to remember is that you are NOT married, and you are NOT a family until you both say I do.

Another thing my professor suggested was that there could be a change in wedding culture. Instead of having the tradition where the couple and their parents pay for a lavish wedding with only 100 people invited to attend, that maybe it should be a combined effort of many family members and friends pitching in money, time, and talents to have a more casual wedding where 500 people could attend, and you would actually enjoy. I really love that idea. Who likes going to a wedding with a reception line, having to shake a bunch of strangers’ hands, and only having 30 seconds to talk to the couple?

Not. Me. It’s ridiculous.

"If you don’t trust them with EVERYTHING, you ought not marry them." Some very sound advice. That’s a surefire way to complicate a marriage before it even begins. Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone if you don’t trust them completely?

Every day before class starts we sing a hymn. On Tuesday a line stuck out to me. “In serving I am blessed.” Doing things for other people truly makes us happier. Even related to marriage and family, when we do things for our family members we create a strong bond between each other of trust and reliability. I remember as a kid, my mom would write little notes to put in our lunches and they’d always say really sweet and encouraging things in them. That really made me feel happy and loved when my mom would do that. It would make the days at school that were sometimes so hard and awful, slightly more bearable. I think sometimes we play down children’s experiences and feelings too much. We were once kids too, and those emotions felt so real to us and were very real. So are our kid’s feelings.

The last thing I wanted to mention is that the small day-to-day decisions are just as important as the big and life-changing decisions. The patterns you create effect your relationships, actions, and even those big decisions. Think before you act and make little changes that will make your life and your relationships better. If you feel like changing and being better but you don’t know how, ask a close friend to be honest with you in identifying attributes you could get rid of or replace to help you be a better person.