An Ingredient for Confidence

This week in my family class, we talked about family systems. I found our discussions interesting, but nothing was really striking me enough to blog my thoughts about it. We talked about the different theories on how a family interacts, talked about some examples, and shared thoughts and stories that I found intriguing, but I still didn’t feel enlightened by anything.

Then on Thursday night, I was brushing my teeth and the thought popped into my head “the fathers’ role as a protector.” When that light bulb went off, I dropped my toothbrush, spit out my toothpaste, and ran to my notebook to jot it down. That line stems from a few places for me, the first from The Family: A Proclamation to the World: “…fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.” Link to the Family Proclamation

The second thing that triggered my thought to write about fathers to be protectors, was from an exercise my teacher did in class. He asked four students to come to the front and hold hands in a circle, and he designated a mom, dad, and two daughters. He then tried to pull each of the family members apart, but they all moved and shifted their weight so the family member being pulled didn’t move very much. After the exercise was done, we talked about how healthy families keep each other from being pulled away by their worries and stresses. When we talked to the “dad,” he mentioned how he tried his best to not let the fact that he was being pulled away put stress on the other people; he tried to brace himself against the force and do what he could to put as little strain on his “family” as possible. Our teacher then pointed out that many men do that; not let his family members or people close to him help him in withstanding the forces of stress, worry, and anxiety.

Men naturally perform the duty of protector.

Protection comes in many forms. As mentioned before, men try to keep their personal problems to themselves, so others don’t have to be weighed down. I don’t think that’s the healthiest habit, but it’s a thing. Men are naturally bigger and stronger than women, so they’re able to physically protect more effectively than women. Some men show that protection when they walk between a woman and the road, creating a symbolic and literal buffer of protection. Men should also protect their families from the negativity, crime, and hatred in the world that causes emotional and mental turmoil. One way to do that is to monitor the type of media consumed in their homes.

As I kept pondering on men as protectors, I started thinking of the men I know that I look to for protection. I thought of my dad, church leaders, some close family friends, guys I’ve dated, and the guys I’m friends with. My dad was my first protector, of course. He always made sure his family was safe in everything we did and kept us safe from the worries and the stress going on in the world. I was lucky to grow up with church leaders and family friends that I trusted and felt secure around. They helped me feel comfortable doing things that stretched me as a person. In my dating and friendship relationships, it is always reassuring when men do little things to help me feel protected. 

One of the best feelings in those relationships is the feeling that I’m safe.

It is so important that men are taught and take up the role as a protector. When guys protect both their male and female friends, their relationships grow stronger and respect is built. When a man dates a woman and protects her, she feels safer and more confident in the relationship.  When a father protects his family, every member grows love and respect for each other, and for themselves.

Whenever I feel protected, I feel confident.