Built-In Friends

The world is in commotion. There are so many bad things happening on our planet today. Wars, horrific poverty, injustice, slavery, genocide, corruption, selfishness, and unkindness. Many of these problems could be lessened or completely avoided if we had better functioning families. The most fundamental unit of society is the family. Healthy family relationships have the greatest and most positive impact on the world. If you want better people on this planet, you need better families. Parents should actively raise their children to be loving, hard-working, and respectful to all. That is the bare minimum.

This video really struck me at how important healthy families are for our world.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gp2lfmb6rlY

On this particular blog post I want to focus on the perks of having a bigger family. I grew up with two siblings, a brother five years older than me, and a sister two years younger. My sister and I were best friends growing up, and we loved each other so much. We shared a room for about 11 years and learned how to live with a person who knows you really well (which is great and terrible). My brother and I were not close while growing up. I remember being really happy when he was at home and felt loved when he gave me attention. Since starting college and moving out of my parents house a few years ago, my brother and I have become better friends, and I love it.

When I started making friends that had big families (four or more siblings), I realized how wonderful it is to have so many siblings, because they were “built-in” friends. I really wished that I had more siblings. I wanted a big sister between my brother and I, and a little brother after my sister. Sometimes I would daydream that my parents told us that we had another baby and I could help take care of it. I wanted it so bad. As I kept learning about big families, I noticed some real benefits of having a healthy large family.

•           Siblings provide guidance and support. Brothers and sisters give different perspectives on life, people, and relationships. Siblings can use each other’s’ experiences to make choices. They also affect emotional availability, and share talents, hobbies, and favorite movies/books with each other. They expose each other to new ways of thinking and experiences. Siblings can bond more when they share all of this together.

•           They are an example of behavior (both good and bad). Any person with a sibling knows that they learned what was going to get them in trouble and what’s going to give them a treat.

•          Younger siblings can help you prepare to be a parent. Helping your parents take care of your siblings is the best kind of practice. You learn how to meet the basic needs of a child, and how to love them. Younger siblings can also teach you how to be patient.

•       They teach you how to get along with people you’re in close proximity to. The best roommates I’ve had, have lived with built-in roommates for most of their lives. When you have siblings, you learn how to work alongside people that can get under your skin very easily. Because of that, I’ve noticed most people with siblings tend to be more patient with those they are not related to.
•           Built in friendships/relationships.There is such a strong assurance in having built-in friendships automatically put into the life of a child. These friends are also protectors, teachers, leaders, followers, and worst enemies. Even those who grew up not having the best relationships with their siblings can ultimately become good friends. Many of my friends who have larger families treasure the relationships they have with their siblings.

I worked with children in an after-school daycare for about 3 years, and sometimes I could tell the difference between children who had a couple of siblings and those who had none (or were more than four years apart). The ones that had close siblings tended to be more tolerant to other children that might have seemed annoying, they were more willing to share, and they were usually more helpful. The kids that didn’t have close siblings tended to be a little more selfish, and had a harder time sharing and cooperating, or considering other people’s opinions and feelings.

I know that I would love to be a parent of children with lots of siblings. I know how important siblings are in a family unit. They teach us how to be more loving, patient, kind, understanding, and all-around good people. And we need more of those in our world.