Good Father = Good Man

I found this article on fathers, and I wanted to base this post on it.

You probably already know my opinion on fathers. They are essential. In historical times, people would say that mothers are the most important parent, but many psychologists recently have declared the importance of good fathers for children. Listed below are things fathers bring to the table that mothers just don’t do.

Fathers parent differently than mothers. They believe in rules, justice, fairness, and have their own way of communicating that are different from mothers. Fathers push their children to go above and beyond their perceived abilities. They challenge their children to be a little better and do a little more. Fathers will tell kids “how it is.” They’ll tell their children if they keep playing a certain way, other kids won’t want to play with them, and other realities of life.

My dad definitely parented differently than my mom. He was all about rules, respect, and being obedient. He made sure we were disciplined, accountable people. But he also let us get away with things that mom may have not.

When fathers play with their children, they roughhouse, tickle, chase, and throw their kids in the air (causing a mini-heart attack for mom). This teaches children how to balance aggression and friendliness, that some aggressive behavior is not acceptable, and how to determine when it’s time to roughhouse and when it’s time to be calm.

I remember wrestling around with my dad on the carpet and playing a game I called “Peter Pan” (I’d put my stomach on his feet while he was laying on his back, and he’d straighten his legs, and it felt like I was Peter Pan, flying). I remember him teaching us when enough was enough, and how biting, pinching, and scratching was a no-no. He would tickle me until I couldn't breathe, which I loved and hated.

Another aspect that fatherhood prepares children for is the “world of men.” In the article I previously citied, I really loved how they brought up the importance of fathers for girls. “Girls with involved, married fathers… have a healthy familiarity with the world of men — they don't wonder how a man's facial stubble feels or what it's like to be hugged by strong arms. This knowledge builds emotional security and safety from the exploitation of predatory males.”  

I had never thought about that part of having a father, but it’s true. When children (especially girls) don’t have those "wonder-ing" thoughts about men, they won’t be tempted to try things with guys that might be jerks.

Good fathers won’t be walked on by their kids. They and their kids know that Dad is the dad, to respect him, and listen to him. One thing that bothers me is when I see men who are fathers who let their kids be the boss, don’t assert authority, or are too scared to discipline their children. Who’s the adult in this relationship? YOU are. Children don’t know what’s good for them, but you should. I’m not saying that a father needs to be strict, mean, or have a short temper; but he needs to stand his ground and be the parent.

My dad didn’t let us walk all over him, and that made it easier for me to depend on him. I never had to have the insecurity of not knowing if I could count on my dad. Sometimes he’d be a bit too hard on us, but I know that was only because he loves us so much. He wanted us to be the best people we could be. Fathers are so important for the health of their children, and the health of society.

"If I make a good income I'm a good man." FALSE

"If I make a good father I'm a good man." Absolutely TRUE.

Please feel free to share some things you love about your own father, or what makes a good father to you.